When I became a mom of two, one of my biggest priorities was helping my toddler feel included—not pushed aside. Toddlers are naturally curious and eager to help, and by giving them small, age-appropriate roles, I saw her confidence and connection with her baby sister grow each day.
Here’s how we make it work—gently, playfully, and without pressure.
1. Have them “go get” baby sister together with you
When baby sister cries or it’s time for a feed, I invite my toddler to come along.
Why it works: It makes her feel like she’s part of the solution, not being left behind. She gets excited knowing we’re doing it together.
2. Let them pick the baby’s outfit each morning
Each morning, I offer two options or let her pick from the dresser.
Why it works: It’s a simple decision-making activity that gives her ownership. Plus, it adds a cute layer of creativity—even if the outfits don’t always match!
3. Assign small laundry tasks
My toddler helps sort baby’s clothes, tosses them into the hamper, or hands me socks.
Why it works: Toddlers love repetition and routines. This turns chores into bonding time and helps her feel capable.
4. Make diaper changes a team effort
She hands me wipes, distracts baby with a toy, or just chats while I change.
Why it works: Toddlers love a “job,” and giving them a small role helps them feel important and responsible.
5. Involve them in tummy time
I set them both up on the mat and encourage my toddler to lie down next to baby.
Why it works: It builds face-to-face interaction and gives your toddler a “baby’s-eye view,” which makes the experience fun and memorable.
6. Create a “big sibling job” during bath time
My toddler pours water gently over baby’s feet or grabs towels when we’re done.
Why it works: Water play is already fun for toddlers, and this allows her to participate safely in a calming routine.
7. Let them “read” to baby
Even if she’s just flipping pages or making up the story, I let her “read” to baby.
Why it works: It boosts early literacy skills, makes her feel grown up, and helps baby associate reading with love and attention.
8. Sing or dance for baby together
We sing nursery rhymes, dance, or let her “perform” for baby.
Why it works: It’s a sensory-rich way to engage both kids—and baby’s smiles or coos help reinforce that sibling bond.
9. Give them a “special helper” title
We call her “Big Sister Helper” or “Diaper Duty Captain.”
Why it works: Giving her an identity in this new family role builds pride. Titles give toddlers a sense of status and belonging.
10. Praise their efforts—a lot
Even a small task gets a “thank you” or “baby sister loves when you help!”
Why it works: Positive reinforcement encourages more helping and reinforces that their efforts are meaningful.
Remember: it’s not about perfection—it’s about feeling needed & loved!
Some days my toddler is eager to help, and some days she’s in her own world—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s connection. Inviting your toddler into the everyday baby care moments not only lightens your load—it helps grow a lifelong bond between siblings.)
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