“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Comparison. It can be seen as a way to motivate and encourage you but it can also turn around on you, making you feel like you aren’t valuable enough. Our human tendencies unconsciously put ourselves next to other people. This is something done to help us measure ourselves as people. At times, we feel insecure, low or inadequate. This all begins in our minds and eventually get shown in our actions and words. It ends up damaging us emotionally. I don’t know about you but I’ve had so many of these thoughts below.
“Why does that person have it so much easier?”
“I work so much harder to get the same or even worst results.”
“They don’t even need to try and they get what they want.”
“They have the perfect family.”
“They just don’t understand my situation. It’s so much harder for me.”
“I wish I was better at making more friends.”
“She looks so much better than me.”
So many things or negative thoughts roamed through my mind. It turns out that these thoughts have all gradually hurt me emotionally, making me feel unworthy of love and belonging.
STOP allowing this comparison rob you of your joy.
1. See EVERY hardship as an opportunity to grow.
Ever since I started seeing it in this perspective, it’s helped me understand my situations a lot better. When I’m faced with a trial, I like to see what I can learn from it. Here’s a small example. Last year in March, I worked out 6 days a week for the whole month. All of a sudden, I got sick for 3 weeks. I was unable to workout as much so I was hard on myself. I had thoughts of losing progress, gaining weight and felt SO frustrated. Instead of drifting towards those negative tendencies, I saw it as a way to explore other things I may like to do. I saw this experience to prove to myself that this fitness journey has it’s ups and downs. It’s important to stay focused in the present and grow from the many learning experiences we encounter. Sometimes, we focus so much on the end result, we get discouraged. Don’t get discouraged but see this difficult time as a way to prove to yourself that you are stronger.
2. It all begins in the mindset.
It begins in the mind. You need to learn how to value and love yourself enough to prevent these comparison thoughts from overpowering you. Chances are, these thoughts will never be eliminated 100% from our mind – but understanding your importance and self-worth is a first step. Positive self-talk!
3. You’re hurting yourself when you constantly compare yourself.
Yes, it can be a way to motivate yourself when you compare yourself to others. However, if you let that be your full drive – it will damage you emotionally. Feelings such as low self-confidence and envy will alter your mindset into thinking you aren’t worth it. You do not need comparison to take your joy away. You don’t need insecurities to devalue your importance. You are so worth it. Remember that.
4. We all have our strengths and weaknesses in different areas.
If we all had the same strengths, it wouldn’t make sense. If we all had the same weaknesses, it wouldn’t make sense either. God made all of us for a different purpose. Another person’s life experiences are not orchestrated the same way as yours. Regardless, in the end, it all works out for the best for you as an individual. This is to shape you, grow you, challenge you into a better person. You will NEVER have to go through something you can’t overcome. Trust me on that!
5. It’ll be impossible to win.
If you use comparison to determine your worth, you will lose every time. Your experiences in life is what makes you different than others. The hardships you encounter will end up to be a beautiful story once you realize what it has taught you in the end. The number of things you learn and grow from are a part of your story. Don’t spend your time dwelling on how to be better than others, but focus on how you can be a better person for others.
6. We all struggle in different ways.
This takes me back to the quote I started this post with. “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” I see so much truth in this. We all put up a front of who we are. Some people may be more transparent and vulnerable but overall, we don’t pour out our insecurities on the table for everyone to see. What I’ve learned is that people are always struggling with something even though they seem perfectly put together on the outside. When you compare, you are comparing your weaknesses to their strengths. Don’t do that. We are NOT the same person. We all struggle differently.
Overall, don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself. Acknowledge the small experiences during your hardships and value the learning experience! Understand you are worth it and loved.
2 Corinthians 4: 8-9
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Radiate your positive energy in bringing out the best in others. YOU ARE SO WORTHY AND LOVED.